Here is something I should have wrote about a long time ago..

I’m two months off of having my bachelors in business management with a specialization in strategy, entrepreneurship and international business. My most recent summer internship turned into a full time job opportunity. And on top of it all I will be graduating debt free. Exactly what every college graduate wishes and hopes for has fallen into place for me.

Everyone says to me, ‘you must be so happy!’ 

But I’m not. I haven’t been this lost or torn in my entire life. I’m not interested in working a meaningless 9-5 job. Planning what meals I’m gonna cook next week and looking forward to the weekend. I don’t want to work for corporate america. I want to volunteer my time in small villages across the world teaching children, or helping farmers during harvest, learning from them. If I take the job, my life will look the way it’s supposed to on the outside, but will be bitterly empty on the inside. My friends think I’m going through a quarter life crisis and say to me, ‘that’s life baby doll’ no, that’s your life, not mine.

Every week I’m coming up with a new plan of what to do with my life. My favorite at the moment is getting a working holiday visa and living in Australia for a year. I figure I’ll work for six months to save money. I’ll find a job in my field so I don’t feel like I’m abandoning my degree. And I’ll fly out when I have planned the entire year to a tee. I recently realized that I have this grand plan so I have something concrete and solid to share with my family and friends when I tell them what I want to do with my life. 

Last night I watched a fabulous documentary 180 degrees south. It was incredibly inspirational. Among other things it made me realize that I don’t need to plan and plan my life away, everything will happen the way it’s meant to. It made me think of a quote I heard once, ‘life is what happens when you’re busy planning it.’ After last night I don’t want to spend any more time trying to plan my life. You miss the present when you focus on the future. 

I’m going to simply let life take me on a journey. Stop trying to plan a perfect adventure.

"Sometimes there’s no substitute for just going there" - Yvon Chouinard

I have the easy route on a freshly paved road right in front of me, but that road looks over traveled and extremely unfulfilling, I choose the difficult route of dirt and rocks, that has only been traveled by few insane souls.


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